Why a Relationship With YOU Is What Matters Most

future self relationships Feb 06, 2023

By Patricia Wooster

To truly design a genius life, you must first start with YOU. This may sound like common sense, but how often have you canceled or put off doing something for yourself to help someone else? If you are not taking care of yourself, then the world (and the people you love) do not get the best of what you have to offer.

Having a positive relationship with oneself lays the groundwork for healthy relationships with others. If we have a negative relationship with SELF, we may struggle with self-doubt, insecurity, and low self-esteem, which can negatively impact our interactions with others. For example, we may have difficulty setting boundaries, avoid assertiveness, or struggle to communicate effectively, all of which can lead to strained or unhealthy relationships.

On the other hand, when we have a positive relationship with SELF, we are more likely to have a positive relationship with self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love, which can lead to more fulfilling and authentic connections with others.

A study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology in 2009 found that individuals with a positive relationship with themselves had significantly lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress than those with a negative relationship with themselves. The study included over 1,000 participants and found that those who scored higher on measures of self-compassion, self-esteem, and body image satisfaction reported greater life satisfaction and overall well-being.

Building a strong foundation of SELF is crucial for leading a genius life. Here are just a few of the reasons that prioritizing YOU matters:

  1. Improves Self-Awareness: Developing a relationship with yourself means taking the time to understand your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. This self-awareness leads to better decision-making, as you are more attuned to what you need and what makes you happy.
  2. Increases Self-Esteem: By accepting and loving yourself for who you are, your self-esteem will naturally increase. This sense of self-worth lays the groundwork for healthy relationships with others, as well as personal fulfillment and wealth generation.
  3. Better Coping Skills: When you have a positive relationship with yourself, you are better equipped to handle life's challenges. You have a strong foundation of self-love and self-care that allows you to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward.
  4. Improves Mental Health: A healthy relationship with yourself can improve your mental health by reducing stress and anxiety. When you take the time to care for yourself and practice self-compassion, it becomes easier to manage negative thoughts and emotions.
  5. Better Relationships with Others: A strong relationship with yourself lays the foundation for healthy relationships with others. When you are comfortable with who you are and confident in your own worth, you attract positive, healthy relationships into your life.

Focusing on SELF is not as easy as it sounds for those who are used to serving others and balancing family, partners, work, and commitments to their community. It requires effort and a willingness to set aside time and protect it with boundaries. You can build a strong relationship with SELF by creating routines and activities that you automatically schedule on your calendar. The easiest way is to start with a morning routine. What are the 3 to 5 activities can you incorporate into your morning to set you up for success? Things like:

  • Reading
  • Journaling
  • Meditation/Affirmations/Prayer
  • Exercise
  • Healthy Breakfast
  • Breathwork
  • Stretching 

None of these activities need to take very long. You can start with a simple 20-minute routine and work your way up to more time as it becomes a part of your schedule. By starting the day with YOU first, you will feel focused and refreshed to lean in and share your genius with others.

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